Monday, January 23
After Day 2, I visualized it being on easy street for the duration. Boy, was I wrong! I did it to myself, with the best of intentions. I was doing well through Days 3 and 4, when, on the evening of the 4th day, I spotted a red rash on my shoulders. It has been slowly but surely covering my body since then. I called Cindy and she said it sounded more like an allergy than the rash expected. “Did you add something?” she queried. “Yes, Udo Oil and Bee Pollen from Whole Foods.” I’d used both products several times before with no reactions. Evening Primrose Oil in the Udo Oil or the bee pollen are the likely culprits. I’m happy to learn the cause; unhappy to see my poor body. I sent photos to brother Bob, he wrote back, “OMG.” Cindy recommended I quit all pills but my prescription ones for awhile. I did, so now I expect to see the rash slowly receding from my skin.
The day the rash appeared, I saw and released the fear I didn’t know I had around getting a rash. I had been educating myself from the literature and knew the steps to be taken to prevent or alleviate a rash, but underneath a fear of it was building. But when it appeared, I felt the fear rise up and leave and I thought, “Ok, we’ll just deal with it. No big deal.” A lesson in love and that there’s nothing to fear or dread, just deal with it. I once read “Stress comes from our thinking that we can’t deal with the situation at hand.”
On the second day of treatment, my brain was screwy and I lost my will to stay on my food plan. On the fourth day, I emailed Bee Epstein-Shepherd, my hypnotherapist, for HELP! She called and we discussed lifting a block I had identified years ago to losing the last 10 pounds to reach my goal weight. She got me back on track recording what I eat and told me to buy a scale (I left mine at home and Donna doesn’t have one.) at Goodwill – seems to work okay. I decided to address the block myself, and sitting in Donna’s living room, went inside and saw the face of that wounded inner child, the face I’ve always been conscious of but unable to look at squarely. She is my second skin, behind it all, my subconscious. I did some EFT and spoke with her. I felt an easing up of inner tension and have felt much lighter since, with renewed vigor for brisk walking and with no problems (other than the 60 grams/fat/day requirements) with food selection or portions.
Donna writes me from Alamos that everyone is asking about me. So many, she says. “You’ve wiggled your way into the hearts of the expats in Alamos,” she said, “and I haven’t even asked the Mexicans yet.” But I know they love me too as I love them. I told Donna I love the expats too all of them except RD, whom I do acknowledge for some personal growth. Shirley thought he had dementia, but now I believe he just killed off a lot of brain cells because he admittedly was an alcoholic for decades.
Working my way up to writing my book while I’m here. Making my ancestors come alive to me and my family – a good beginning. I feel better today; able soon to go to work on it. Can’t force the issue.